Chinese Subtitles & Cycling

Saturday was a scheduled 3 hour bike ride, and as it was pouring rain, I decided to ride indoors on my trainer with my teammate Karl and watch movies. As the scenery really doesn't change when you're riding a stationary bike, minds tend to wander and DVDs are usually used to combat boredom. However, this particular saturday, while watching the Chinese Martial arts movie "The House of the Flying Daggers" (complete with no sound and english subtitles) I had an epiphany.

I would become a ninja. But unlike any ninja the world had seen thus far....I would become cycling's first ninja. (Keep in mind I'm 6'4, 200 lbs, NOT asian and the words "grace" and "subtlety" probably are not the first words that come to mind when I'm around.)

Nevertheless, Sunday saw me down at the cycling clothes store, buying every piece of black clothing I could find. The clerk even cautioned me ( "You know, there are other colors...."), but I was adamant. Ninjas wear black, therefore I needed all the XL dark clothes I could lay my grubby little paws on. Once back at home, I donned my new outfit to make sure I looked the part, and gave myself the once-over in the mirror (pictures forthcoming). Convinced I looked like an intimidating bad-ass (in form-fitting lycra nonetheless), I walked outside to get a bike tube from my car, prepared to conquer the roads. Rummaging around in my car for the tube, I became aware that it was quiet outside. TOO quiet. As in the " murderer is about to get the hero in the movie" quiet, or the still quiet of the forest right before a bear charges through the brush and tears apart a helpless deer.

Lifting my head up and looking around, I realized two things;

1. The parking lot is a lot emptier when everyone goes home for winter break
2. Less cars in the lot means its easier for the police car to see the black clad, hooded figure rummaging around in the red camaro

20 minutes of questioning later (complete with my neighbors walking by with their mouths open, staring and pointing), I was allowed to strut with as much dignity as I could muster in my Lycra (not much) back into my apartment complex, thus culminating my first ninja experience.

God bless the vigilance of the Irvine PD.